Shock and Awe

I thought I had bronchitis that didn't seem to want to get better and low and behold it turned out to congestive heart failure.   I won't go into all the details but it is not exciting to hear the words clot and leaky valve.  Am on blood thinner medicine waiting for the next steps.   So first came the shock.  I had no idea and was not even thinking that my heart wasn't working right.   I go in for regular check ups so we are not sure when the heart started its decline.  Here it was Valentine's Day and the test didn't work.  It would mean waiting for a clot to dissolve and you hear these words over and over.  Don't fall down, if you have any bleeding be careful, special diet, get your blood checked every week, etc. etc.  I started thinking hmmmm if I don't wake up in the morning I have lived a wonderful life.  To be faced with all the uncertainty causes a lot of thinking about family and what if this is the big one.

Then came the awe.   My son and daughter-in-law were outstanding in their care and concern for me.  The ICU personnel were excellent and made my week there comfortable.  I started lining up all the blog ideas that I didn't want to miss writing.   Friends and family came to visit.   Good conversations.  Lots of thinking about my life overall and how much I've learned about spirituality and giving to others.

This experience makes you realize how vunerable you are but also how much love and support there is to help you face the next steps. Time will tell.